Friends · Parents · Rants · Relocating

She’s Just Not That Into You*

I met Lisa when I was taking the stinky garbage out one beautiful Friday afternoon, and I should have known from that moment on that our friendship was not going to last.  We started out slowly, talking about kids, the local school, and then moved on to Lisa saying, “Well, we should get together some time.”  I thought, “Yeah, right, that’s what they all say,” but she took my number and I took hers.  To make sure I wouldn’t forget who Lisa was, I put her last name as “neighbor.”  Lisa Neighbor.  She’s still in my Blackberry with the wrong last name.

Well, I was wrong about Lisa.  She called me often seeking referrals to doctors, stores, and other service providers.  She and her family had moved from out of state so she didn’t know anything about the area.  Soon our relationship blossomed and we were going out for drinks– even our girls were spending a lot of time with each other.  My youngest practically moved into Lisa’s house!  We got a book club going and even had a few meetings.

After a few months of new friend courting, Lisa announced that she and her husband had found a home to buy and would be moving.  I was kind of sad but then she made it all better by letting me know it was just around the corner and in the same development.  Yay!  I even knew the very house she was moving to because another friend had moved out of it several years before.

Despite moving out of sight/out of mind, Lisa and I continued to hang out with each other.  My daughter was frequently over at her house and/or in Old Town with their family.  Everything seemed to be going extremely well, relationship-wise.

And then it wasn’t.

Suddenly, my e-mails and texts weren’t immediately replied to; I chalked this up to a new home, then the holidays, then the new holidays, then just being busy.  At first, I took it personally because how could I not?  And then more time passed and the weeks stretched out until it was March, and I received an unexpected phone call from Lisa.  She was nice and friendly for about a minute and then dropped a bomb on me.  Not only were they moving again, but they were going out of the area and they weren’t going to use me to sell their house.  I was first and foremost focused on my daughter who was going to be losing another best friend in less than a year (her other best friend moved to England the previous May), then I focused on the loss of my friendship, and then the lack of a home sale.  In fact, the not listing with me didn’t even really matter because they had used this woman’s services before, so I appreciated Lisa’s loyalty.

Fast forward to last Sunday. Last Sunday was a very interesting day.  No, not because it was the day before Independence Day or anything like that but because of a conversation with Lisa’s husband.  He said, “Well, today’s the day the buyer removes contingencies.”  I replied, barely stifling a gasp, “A buyer?”  “Yeah, we have a buyer for our house and we’ll be leaving California on the morning of the 13th.”  I choked out, “Oh, Lisa didn’t mention any of this to me.”  Her husband seemed surprised that I wasn’t told.  If you know me at all, you know I don’t take people leaving my life very well.

This past Thursday I got a text from Lisa that, “Gosh, sorry for the surprise [about the buyer and the move].  Thought my husband told your husband and my daughter told your daughter.”   Hmmmm….so, when was I going to be told?

I talked to my husband about the events and he said in his usual tactless, engineering way, “Well, I guess you thought you were better friends than you really were.”  Ouch!

“‘She’s just not that into you'” is this what you’re trying to say?” I asked.

He chuckled and said, “Yeah, I guess I am.”

A friend of mine of two years and her family are leaving California on the 13th in the a.m.  As planes pass overhead, I will look up at the skies and wonder if that’s the one they’re in.

*My apologies to authors Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo who co-wrote, “He’s Just Not That Into You,”


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