Advice · Rants

Mysterious Facebook Postings as Power


As you all know, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.  I have deleted my account, opened it up, deleted it again, etc., etc.  You get the picture.  I will probably continue this insanity until someone creates a button that deletes all my files on my computer if I log into Facebook.  It will take this kind of pain to make me stop.

This indecision has spilled over onto my iPhone as well.  Currently, the little time waster has been deleted.  I put it back on my phone last night, read nothing important, and then deleted it again wondering “Why do I bother?”  Seriously, why do I do this?  Guess it’s my curiosity rearing its ugly head but more on that later.

Sometimes I read really great articles shared by some friends, so it isn’t all bad, or that’s at least what I tell myself.

Speaking of indecision…Another post recently caught my attention because it was so cryptic in its content; it had no information at all.  “Trying to make a life changing decision.  Going in circles.  How do you decide?”  On some level, I understand heading to Facebook to perhaps gain some insight into how others arrive at decisions.  In today’s world, heading to a crowd is a way to get things done — except making a decision is really based on emotion and then justifying it later.

Nobody is going to supply that answer although someone did get really close, “My son’s teacher says to ‘listen to your tummy.'”  Now THAT is the perfect response and underlines the fact that we base decisions on emotion and explain the decision later with some form of roundabout logic.

My beef with this post is if this person is indeed perplexed about a life changing decision and seeking help, shouldn’t she offer up which two or three things she’s trying to decide between?

Seems if it’s indeed a life changing decision, in order for the crowd to be effective in its help, it should know what it is helping to decide rather than the process used to decide.

Are we talking which car to buy next?  Paint color?  Or are we talking about moving to another country?  Going back to school?  As you can see, one person’s “life-changing” decision is another person’s everyday china.

I would like to pose a possible explanation for this this post.  I think this post was placed on Facebook simply to exert power.  Essentially, it said, “I have really juicy information about myself that I am going to withhold.”  People are curious creatures (me included–see above).  Some people were even brave enough to ask or offer their services to listen (essentially a sneakier way to get the withheld info).

We all want to know what’s going on in this lady’s life.  We want the meat.  We want the cheese, the mayo, the lettuce, but she’s only going to provide the plastic baggie the sandwich was stored in.  We are like dogs sniffing around the inside of the empty bag, knowing something tasty was in there, but it’s now gone.

I have to admit to posting mysterious messages when I first started on Facebook about four years ago but that was to get a conversation started, and it went something like this:

Me:  Best day evah!!

Some random friend (I only had about 49 then): What happened?? 😉

Me:  Darling daughter passed her driving test!!

Although this tactic was initially somewhat effective, I soon realized how frustrating it was to be in the dark when a friend posted something mysterious and I stopped.

The bottom line?  If your life is going to be an open Facebook, or if you’re seeking any meaningful life advice, then quit trying to be mysterious.  Tell your readers what life event is perplexing you.  Maybe one (or more) of your friends have the answer.  You’re only really harming yourself and annoying the rest of us.


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