Often, as a parent, there are opportunities in which I don’t know what to do. Something will happen and my husband and I are like two deers caught in the headlights of an oncoming tractor trailer. On one hand, there’s the knee jerk reaction (one we may soon regret or have to backpedal from), and then there’s the other: the discussed, logical response to new stimuli.
Sometimes my husband’s logical response is the same as mine, and other times, well, let’s just say that I look at him like the alien he probably is.
Recently, our oldest daughter started dating a boy. She is off at college, so we had not met him until a full month and a half had passed into their new love. My daughter has always had amazing boyfriends, each one better than the last, so I was expecting an exceptional young man. What I met instead was a quiet, aloof, extremely buff boy with glittery ear gauging holes. He appeared to be bored every time I opened my mouth, and seemed to have absolutely no ambition. He wasn’t in school and he didn’t have a job.
Hmmmm….he was so different from anyone else she had ever dated (or at least the boys I knew about). I stressed, I worried, I sat staring off into the distance wondering what to do for an entire week while I was visiting my daughter. I didn’t want to scare her off and I didn’t want to make him seem more desirable by telling her that she could do better. Who doesn’t remember rebelling against a parent’s advice?
I finally had my ah-ha moment when I remembered some of the guys I dated. As I ran down the list of former beaus, I realized not many would pass my scrutiny now. Some lasted a long time (and shouldn’t have), and others didn’t last for very long (and probably should have). I was more into the thrill of the chase, and once I “caught” a boy, I became bored. There were very few exceptions to this. I can think of three guys I stayed with or would have stayed with longer had they not broken up with me.
After perusing the list of old boyfriends in my mind, I decided to just relax and let my daughter have the same opportunity I had to be with someone not quite for her.
Because I will remain silent, she will have the opportunity to date a frog so that she can recognize a prince when he shows up.
As of this writing, she broke up with the guy and it was her own decision. She told me it was because he had no goals for his life.
It seems my husband and I have raised a very smart girl.