Ghost Money

Lost $15k two weeks ago and I still feel like I have a “ghost” limb that I am missing.  I need that money so badly to put a buffer in place.  My husband was laid off after 10 years at one company almost a year ago.  Needless to say, my income now matters.  And to make it all worse, I had an opportunity to “not lose it,” but because I trusted someone, the money will not be deposited into my account anytime soon.

But, I was reminded a few days ago about the nature of the world….how circular things are….how it’ll come back around if I am patient.  I can be philosophical at this point because I have had 2 weeks to think, dwell, stew, wallow, and cry over the money.

Here’s my story.  On Tuesday night, I took Pearl for a walk on the trails near our house.  I have been teaching her how to walk without a leash because I want her to know what it is to run with some freedom.  Pearl is a very active dog, and I sense she needs some time to just roam instead of being told, “no!” all the time.  I threw the ball to Pearl and the brand-new squeaky ball that I had literally just gotten out of the package prior to our walk flew over the fence and into the weeds.  I couldn’t retrieve it because there was no place to leave Pearl.  I mulled over the dilemma for a bit and then just had to make a decision to walk away.

I know…it’s a ball.

But, I had a plan for that ball and I wanted to implement my plan.  My plan was to teach Pearl how to run away from me without her leash but then come back.  Not only would the ball allow her to get more exercise than the 3 miles I normally walk with her, and maybe wear her out for once, but it would be done in a way that was fun for her.  I was mad that I wasn’t going to be able to finish what I had started, but I moved on and got a few miles in without the ball.

Yesterday, I walked by the same spot and the squeaky ball was not there.  I thought, “Well, one of the workers probably picked it up for one of his kids or his own dog, so it’s gone for good now.”  And the truth of the matter was that I didn’t mind.  I figured the guy probably needed the ball more than me and just continued on my walk.

About 40 minutes later, Pearl comes upon a ball in a person’s yard and picks it up.  It’s not a squeaky ball but it is a tennis ball.  It is filthy, not a clean and bright, neon green ball, but still recognizable as a tennis ball.  Different, but essentially the same.  She played with that ball for the rest of the walk and then left it somewhere else on our street for the next dog to love.

The point of this is that when I let the squeaky ball go, something else took its place in a relatively short time — the second ball was different, but equally good, especially to Pearl.  She probably loved all the extra smells on that gross orb.  And I am thinking that the same will happen with the money — it will be replaced by something equally valuable if I am patient.


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