Dogs/Puppies · Rants

Open Letter to My Delusional Neighbor About Her Pet and Landscaping Skills

Dog barking

If I could write an anonymous letter to anyone right now, it would be my neighbor. Just to be able to pour my feelings out on paper about how much her dog’s nonstop barking bothers the crap out of me would relieve me of some pressure.

We live in houses that are so close together, it’s as if her dog is barking inside my house. Meanwhile, my dog who does live here sleeps soundly on her bed, not making a noise other than an occasional sigh.

My neighbor believes her dog does not bark. She’s also the type that will allow her dog to go on and on annoying the heck out of everyone in my home for 10 minutes. Just when I think she may not be home, and I’m about to yell, “Quiet!” she’ll suddenly say, “Now, you stop that.”

He has the kind of bark that pierces your consciousness and won’t get out. Sometimes when the neighbor lady leaves for three or four hours, her dog will be in a crate in the kitchen. She obviously has tile floors throughout her home and her dog will bark for three or four hours while his bark echoes and amplifies.

I’d gladly close all my windows and doors to muffle this assault, but it’s been 85 degrees and humid — something we’re not used to here in this part of the world.

My family cannot sleep past 6:50 a.m. because that’s when she allows the first barking to commence.

The sad part is the neighbor fancies herself to be an expert dog trainer. In some ways, yes, she gets her dogs to become insanely attached to her, but she has had a lot of problem with barking dogs. One of the dogs barked so much, you could hear the citronella sprayer collar desperately trying to regain control, but it was no use. Our side yard smelled really nice with that dog and was amazingly devoid of mosquitoes.

I’d also like to let her know that I hate the plants that she has put in her yard. It’s as if she had gone to a plant nursery, asked them to blindfold her, and she made the final selections that way. Or, maybe she asked the certified nursery personnel which plants they found to be the ugliest, and chose those. She even ends up not liking them because she’s ripped out her choices three times so far (and counting).

Either way, she is no dog trainer or landscaper and should quit both endeavors.

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